In that freefall, I am vulnerable, just like always. But he catches me, just like always, and takes me away into a whirlwind of feelings, just like he always does. And then the lust is gone, vanished, washed away, and his grasp on me loosens. His hold-his love-is only thing keeping me in the midst of this, and it is fading. Just like always.
But I am sick of always. Always fails. Always isn't working. So instead of him letting me go, letting me fall once again, and plunge into pain. I pull myself up. And for the first time we are staring at each other, seeing eye to eye. He begins to stutter, losing grip and dominance on the situation. It's normally easier than this for him. So before her can open his mouth, in a lame attempt to push me off the edge-I speak
The words begin falling out of my mouth, quickly and harsh, like I had rehearsed them many times in front of the mirror, and had perfected the tone. They are strong words, fighter words: "This is how it goes, isn't it, for everyone? Every girl that you meet, they are all ' the most amazing girl ever'. So you pick them up and take them away. And then you let them go anyway you please, because within five minutes, and a few charmed-filled phrases you can have them back. Sorry Hun. Not this time. I'm not going to let you do this to me again. I can't handle it. It will kill me. So I'm going to tell you something, and you will never forget it. Don't make up some lame excuse for why this isn't working. No one needs your bullshit lies.
Don't tell me 'We'll be friends, it's better that way,' because it's not and I don't want to be. Don't tell me to 'Give it time, we can try again later,' because we won't. In two months we will be nothing but distant acquaintances. I will have no interest in you-and I will not let you lure me in with pointless words. Don't tell me your 'confused", because you can't be. Love is simple, life is simple. It's black or white, one or the other, no gray zone, no in-between.
"Whatever you do after me, just don't forget this-us. It's important, it shapes who you are, who I am, who we will become. But know now, as I leave you, that this is simple. You and I, we're not on a break, we're over. Black and white. This is the end, only the end. And there is no confusion there." With that she finished. She looked into his eyes, wide with shock. "Goodbye." She said, and then turned to leave, to get away from him... She jumped out of his hold, forever. But this time, when she jumped, there was no fear. She was falling now, the same as always, but this time, it was not tragedy that loomed at the end. It was a beginning, a fresh outlook, and a new start-no baggage.
And then she landed, on her two feet, with nothing but an adrenaline rush. Without turning she walked away from him, from everything they had, and everything he was to her, and she did not look back. This is how it went now, she never looked back...

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