I was going to make all my diaries friends only because I didn't want everyone reading my thoughts anymore. To be truthful I haven't really wrote them down for an extremely long time. It was going to be done out of fear and hurt and I realized that I don't want that.

I'm tired of fighting. I'm exhausted from worrying about other people's feelings and how they would react. Of worrying about how they're judging me this time. This is my offical apology to anyone I hurt in the past few weeks with my words or my actions. It was never my intention to inflict sadness on anyone. And if I did, I'm sorry. That's all I can say.

I'm not going to hide the fact that Rob is my boyfriend. Yes I care about him. And I like to believe he feels the same way about me. We are going to the formal together and we're going to have a good time. I'm tired of pretending like I don't care about what people are saying but I do. I want so badly to say mean things back but I won't. I don't have it in me.

It's been a rough couple of weeks for me. I cried at almost anything. Because things didn't turn out the way I had hope they would. I can't take back anything and to be honest I don't think I would even if I could. It's all made me a stronger and I hope better person. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

I miss everyone. Especially you.

so I'll keep on smiling, because no one said this would be easy..

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